It is scary to BLAHG

IT IS HALLOWEEN and I HAVE a SCARY FEAR OF PUBLISHING THIS BLAHG…or is it just

False Expectations Appearing Real?

I have learned a few things about myself and my writing process in the last few weeks. Here are three things:

One, I do not have a set schedule for writing for better or for worse. It is 5:30pm right now.

Two, I am terrified of publishing a blog for all to see. Calling is a Blahg makes it more fun…boat log and happy gratitude’s, BLAHG!

Three, I do not like to edit my work on the screen.

So back to reason number one, I have tried hard to follow Joshua Sprague’s, Create First concept and quite honestly when it works, it is great! I have a better day when I first create and skip scrolling. I have less anxiety about “getting to the writing part.” So why 5:30 tonight? I am trying a new thing. My writing buddy, who lives in Vancouver with a three-hour time difference, and I decided to meet once a week and tackle the difficult tasks that haunt us. These tough tasks cause massive resistance and slow my boat or book movement. This prevents me from completing tasks relating to my book including the trifecta of writing, publishing and marketing. It is called accountability. Today, I wrote an orange post-it note with my tasks. We set an agenda. I wrote.

Now, I know plenty of writers who do this group sprint thing, and it is helpful. I have tried it. I was too easy to bail out of those times because I didn’t know the people. I even did a paid one, which I thought would really make me show up and do the work. It did not. I was like paying for dock space and tossing money into the water. As Steven Pressfield will acknowledge, resistance will show up anytime. I paraphrased that, but not even spending money could make me show up. Why, I don’t know, maybe because I didn’t know the people, I never saw the money, I never set goals etc. Who knows. I have high hopes this one will work. It already does, look at how far I have written now!

Reason number two, I have not published blogs so far; hitting the publish button is like handing in the final draft to the teacher. Is it really done? Is it my best work? There are no takebacks or mulligans. Hey World, hey Jeopardy, This is my final answer. So, I hit Publish, in my mind. I never do it, but I will today. The thing is, I have begun to realize that our writing is ever changing along with our thoughts. No better time than now to just hit publish and just be done. Now it is already then. I must tell Overthinking Ming to go find another headspace.

Reason number three, I write and then typically set aside my words for a later edit. I learned that I love to print out my work, read it and do line edits, but transferring those edits to the document is not fun. The writing part is fun, the edit transfer not so much. Hence the reason I have no blogs published. I wrote one last week but failed to edit and publish. My shoulder ghouls, Polly Perfectionist and her twin Imogene the Imposterista are dueling for headspace right now. What qualifies me to send out my unedited words out there for no one to read?  So, why bother?

Just hit send, Amy. Before I hit SEND, this blahg sat for almost two months before a light edit and a toss of these lines over the boat. I even learned how to change the dates so this blahg is just a mirage! That wasn’t so scary! Happy Halloween to all my writing fears!

Amy! Ready About!

READY! I’M SENDING!